What to do when there’s

no football.

Only snow, inept forecasters, inept government, ambulance chasing lawyers and no one with a pot to piss in during the window?

As the Scousers cried off yesterday, obviously running scared, another loss for Pugwash and those on a Kop that still back him might start figuring out it was his predecessors team that won the Champions League.

That’s of course if the Kop dweller wasn’t too busy running off to mummy complaining about the big nasty man saying horrible things to him. Poor old precious Scousers, so happy to hand it out but when a tiny part comes back they get oh so delicate. And it’s not like Hicks Jr. said anything about their ridiculous mawkish sentimentality. Now I haven’t seen the mail that elicited the reply I read the reply from the owner’s son and he appeared to be quite narked, seemingly due to receiving another missive from this sensitive soul. How many had the individual sent and were they all written in the politest Queen’s English?. Or did they also read in that undecipherable squeak. Calm down, calm down.

So with no real football action, only ManUre and the scum failing, followed by the usual suspects bleating and moaning – with the BBC being in their element a programme with two big teams that they can fawn over. Oh Fletcher only slightly clipped him, it’s not a yellow whines Sir Puceface and his pet homunculus, while the commentator screams it wasn’t a vicious challenge. No not vicious but there was their other favourite word – intent – and he intended to cynically stop the player getting past by just tripping him. Good enough for another yellow. But then wasn’t the challenge from behind supposed to be a red, so he should have gone for the first offence, as should Scholes for another classic attempt by him to tackle someone. And then Evans’ two footed over the ball studs in lunge should have seen it 11 versus 8 at the end.

And then we have the quietest transfer window in living memory, rumours are piled four feet high in the streets but there’s no real action to melt them away. Only Citeh forking out for Vieira, a player that was past it when sold to Italy, who couldn’t get a game in Italy, was thinking of packing it in. Nice bit of business. One can only think of the poor dogs that may roam around the Eastlands ground, what pain their poor ears will go through every second week as the big girl’s blouse falls over screaming his head off with that girly high pitch screech every time someone touches him in a tackle. What a hard man enforcer.

‘Arry says no one is leaving and no one is coming in and this is ‘Arry we’re talking about, the ‘Arry, Mr Window Wheeler Dealer ‘Arry. Still no offers for Jenasite 🙁

Pools panel say…away win…

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