The only way to watch Wimbledon is on

Tottenham 3-0 AFC Wimbledon Official Highlights | Kane Scores Twice | Emirates FA Cup 2017/18

Ceefax.

Spurs’ third round F.A. cup tie against Wimbledon wasn’t shown anywhere in the known world, it was like the good old days of waiting for the TV text service to scroll through the page numbers to update.

Well, not entirely true. As pointed out to me there was commentary from BBC 5 Live. Well when they said “commentary”, what they really meant was a couple of blokes – thankfully blokes – talking to each other about nothing to do with the game, while the game went on in the background, your only clue as to what was happening coming from the crowd noise.

Radio and TV commentators really have things arse about. On radio they carry on like you can see what’s happening, on telly they bang on like you can’t.

But salvation, a bloke in the crowd with a phone – I know, what are the chances. So watching the game from one end, initially in portrait mode and at times with very little panning. Small mercies. Though it was the wrong end for the Spurs supporters, it being a Womble with the phone, luckily it was the right end for the action in the first half. Though this turned out to be not so great. The top performer of the first 45 minutes being this bloke’s phone battery.

Usual story. Small team camped out in their own box while Spurs struggle to break them down, repeatedly trying to go through the middle of the crowd. Usual missed chances. While Wimbledon could have snatched one when the ball went through Vorm’s hands off the bar and back onto his head. Though most of the cheering from the away end came from winning corners and stringing a couple of passes together.

With the pattern repeating for the first part of the second half wee were now at the wrong end. Though you could make out the desperation levels as Dembele actually had a pop.

The breakthrough came just after the hour when finally someone got to the byline and put a ball across. I mean, it came from Sissoko and worked, which just shows how much easier it is to create chances by getting to the byline.. Kane putting the ball in to end his 2018 drought. The New Year started to look like the old just two minutes later when he doubled the lead, snatching onto Walker-Peters ball.

Then 2018 went strange, a time warp, back through the ages, well four and a bit years. Jan scored. Jan scored, yes that Jan, Vertonghen, yes him. His first goal since October 2013. Yes it took a nick off the defender but finally this one is his, they won’t… can’t take it off him.

Only shame was that Dele didn’t score. The away fans really showed their appreciation for the ex MK Dons player.

So onto the next round… without that other lot, finally going out in the 3rd round and without Mark Hughes, finally sacked but no doubt to turn up somewhere – you know what with British managers never getting a look in. Giggs favourite to replace Hughes, would love it if the most overrated player of his generation took Stoke down.

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