you did a great job last night.
It was bad enough having to watch the Champions League final live but not exclusive on ITV the only thing that would make it worse would have been a ManUre victory.
ITV all ready had it won for them and Clive Tyldesley had his box of tissues at hand, probably David Pleat’s hand which is maybe why he always seems slightly distracted. It was to be a historic night as ManUre moved to the same number of wins as Ajax and Bayern, historically still behind Madrid, Milan and Liverpool, it doesn’t get more historic than that.
So thanks Sir Alex, we still had the bets on how long into the match it would take Clive to mention “that night in Barcelona” and there was the over/under on how many times he would bring up the subject. But we were spared Barca still only having a one goal lead with minutes to go and very likely possibility he would implore Sheringham and Solskjær to strip off and save his night.
Amazingly he did concede there might be some watching that didn’t want his beloveds to win, someone must have told him to say it.
So again a huge thanks to Fergie, thanks for playing Giggs, having the game totally bypass one of the most overrated players in history, well at least with all that spare time on his hands he could perfect that confused look he finds so easy, especially after missing sitters or hitting the first defender with attempted crosses or his set pieces go nowhere. PFA Player of the year, my arse, though his only real competition for the confused look is Darren Bent.
Thanks for playing Anderson, who can’t tackle, can’t dribble and can’t pass, who only seems to be able to kick the back off opponents legs while prannying about looking stupid. Thanks for playing your best striker on the left and on the right and never actually down the middle, thanks for playing your best winger there instead. Thanks for bringing Scholes on so he could give us a tackling masterclass. Thanks for instilling that lazy arrogance into Rio, so that a dwarf – if he’s five foot seven, I’m nine foot four – headed Barca’s second.
On a bright note for Rio though was the post-game, pre-presentation pics of him on the pitch, his bottom lip curled out quivering as if he was about to blubber away, who would ever guess he could actually get that lower lip further out than his upper beak reaches.
Thanks for bringing Berbatov on so we could watch him chicken out when ever he was given the ball. What’s the Bulgarian for “I don’t want it, please don’t pass to me, I don’t want the responsibility”. Thanks for us not having to watch you run around clapping and celebrating in that uncoordinated 3 year old on Sunny D way you have. It is funny but it is also very disturbing.
And after all that both ITV and all from ManUre had to agree that the best team on the night won. Makes it so much better that they had no one to blame but themselves.