It happened this week

This is the week that was in matters musical …

1946, bebop trumpeter Albert "Tootie" Washington’s life and career are brought to a tragic conclusion when the 1941 Packard he’s piloting crashes into the 13th floor of New York’s Mercantile Bank Building … according to an investigating cop, the hip horn man was "high on horse" …

1966, avant-garde composer John Cage sues Simon and Garfunkel over their hit "Sounds of Silence," claiming it constitutes a copyright infringement of his famous 1952 composition 4’33”, which consists of four minutes and 33 seconds of silence …

1967, Dunhill Records cancels its “Win a Date With Mama Cass” promotion when no entries are received …

1968, this week, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Who, Bob Dylan, and Jimi Hendrix do absolutely nothing noteworthy …

1970, Elvis frees the slaves of Graceland …

1976, building on the overwhelming popularity of the 8-track audio cartridge, RCA announces it is working on an 8-track video cartridge … according to one RCA exec, the "8-TV" cartridge will hold up to one 40-minute program with only a brief interruption every ten minutes as the tape heads change tracks …

1977, RCA releases the latest Elvis album, The King Requests, a compilation of taped phone calls Elvis made to a Memphis deli over the years to order sandwiches, pizza, and other snacks for delivery to Graceland … the calls were recorded over 12 years on 37 cassettes by the enterprising deli owner who sold them to RCA for $385,000 … and yes, every call ends with Elvis saying "thang-you-very-much" … in 1983 a remastered CD edition is released that contains hilarious outtakes including the time Elvis called and couldn’t remember what he wanted, as well as the time E made three calls in five minutes with the exact same order …

1978, the surviving members of Lynyrd Skynyrd issue a limited-edition commemorative wallet-on-a-chain in tribute to their fallen bandmates who died in a tragic plane crash the previous year …

1979, The Economist reports that the cost of funkmeister Rick James’ cocaine intake for 1978 exceeds the GNP of Zimbabwe by a ratio of 5 to 4 …

1981, NASA confirms reports that George Clinton, Bootsy Collins, and an entourage of P-Funk and Funkadelic veterans have safely returned from an expedition to Uranus …

1982, Bobby Schwartz, an unheralded singer-songwriter from Darien, Connecticut, wins the Best New Song award at the Southhampton Blues Festival with his gritty "Dead Polo Pony Blues" …

1990, Keith Richards checks into Geneva’s Gesundtheit Hospital for his semi-annual blood exchange and decides to splurge on a glistening liver freshly dug out of a young, teetotaling highway accident victim …

1993, The Orlando Sentinel reports that a local Elvis impersonator has signed a management contract with a Colonel Tom Parker impersonator …

1994, notable for its furious diatribes against global corporations, politically charged alt-metal band Rage Against the Machine inks a multirecord, multimillion-dollar pact with Sony …

1996, virtuoso guitarist Steve Vai takes home a Grammy for Most Pimped Out Wardrobe …

1997, plans for a free Rolling Stones concert in San Francisco dubbed Altamont II are scratched when the Hell’s Angels decline an offer to handle security … they have a previous commitment to provide security for The Vibe Awards …

1998, According to Billboard’s "Festival Watch" column, the latest rendition of the Allman Brothers band has logged its millionth in-concert request for "Whippin’ Post" … in a related item, the column reports that Pink Floyd has passed the 30-million Bic-flick mark … of course the band has its work cut out for it in surpassing Lynyrd Skynyrd’s supremacy with over 141 million career flicks …

1999, Sting’s new hit, "I’ll Be Watching Me" reaches #1 on the Australian charts …

2000, indie rock writers come together in Chicago to bestow the title of “Most Indie Artist of the Decade” upon the band Leaves of Green … the little-known group of tastemakers had only one real member, recorded only two songs, never played a show, never got signed to a label, and broke up after only three weeks of half-hearted disinterest … record store clerks everywhere instantly begin touting Leaves of Green as their favorite band and lamenting the loss of its unique and creative musical genius …

2001, singer-turned-actor Huey Lewis attempts a comeback with a newly formed supergroup in the tradition of Crosby, Stills, and Nash … Lewis teams up with former Buffalo Springfield drummer, Dewey Martin and ex-Velvet Underground guitarist, Lou Reed … the curmudgeonly Reed, who fears the band’s self-titled album, Huey, Dewey, and Louie will damage his image, seeks an injunction … the album is never released …

2002, velvet-throated crooner Tony Bennett collaborates on a duets album with shock rocker Marilyn Manson … the release is titled I Left My Heart in a Seething Pus-Filled Pit

2003, cable network VH-1 logs the 100th rerun of its "Where Are They Now?" segment profiling one-hit wonders …

2006, to cash in on the overwhelming response to the Volkswagen/First Act GarageMaster car and guitar system, Line 6 introduces the FM-4 RadioPod … the world’s first car-radio modeling system, designed to provide guitarists with the accurate tones of Buick, Ford, Chevy, Toyota, BMW, Mercedes Benz, and other modern and vintage car radios … the crown jewel in this stunning set of sounds is a vintage Motorola 505 sampled from the back seat of a 1940 Plymouth … ever the trend-setter, pop icon and fitness guru Madonna causes an uproar in both the religious and scientific communities … skirting current cloning laws and taking her passion for Ashtanga Yoga to new heights, Madonna has her DNA combined with cryogenically stored DNA samples from India’s late political and spiritual leader, Mahatma Gandhi … according to attending physicians, little Mahatma Donna is doing beautifully …

2007, After her third arrest and rehab stint in as many months, Fender cancels production of the planned Squier Lindsay Lohan Signature Stratocaster … the guitar was to have been finished in her trademark Cotton Candy Pink Frost with a fake ID embedded in the top below the bridge … the package was slated to include swappable pickguards in natural or blonde … also this week, Gibson releases the acoustic BFG guitar …

2012, Janet Jackson’s right breast is inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame …

2017, former pop diva Britney Spears makes her Home Shopping Network debut pushing her new anti-cellulite cream …

2022, The Rolling Stones cancel the remaining dates on their African tour due to an undependable supply of Depends …

2028, Chinese Democracy, the long-awaited new Guns N’ Roses album is distributed in telepathic form on the Allonemindnet … a hard-copy version is also released in the new SpinDisK format that involves pressing audio data into grooves on a molten disc of black polyvinyl chloride … audiophiles say it restores the harmonic detail and warmth conspicuously absent from iPodDiskS …

And that was the fools week that was. 😉

Arrivals:

March 27: influential blues pianist Leroy Carr (1905), blues guitarist Robert Lockwood Jr., a student of the legendary Robert Johnson (1915), jazz songstress Sarah Vaughan (1924), Reprise Records mogul Mo Ostin (1927), Houston blues guitarist Johnny “Clyde” Copeland (1937), Brenda Knight of Gladys Knight and the Pips (1948), Tony Banks of Genesis (1951), Mariah Carey (1970)

March 28: legendary electric blues guitarist Aaron “T-Bone” Walker (1910), Milan Williams of The Commodores (1948)

March 29: Donny Conn of the Playmates (1930), Vangelis (1943), Chad Allan of Guess Who? (1943), Terry Jacks (1944), Toto’s Bobby Kimball (1947), Patti Donahue (1956), Perry Farrell of Jane’s Addiction (1959), John Popper of Blues Traveler (1967)

March 30: harp man John Lee “Sonny Boy” Williamson (1914), Willie Nelson (1933), Graeme Edge of the Moody Blues (1942), Eric Clapton (1945), Jim Dandy Mangrum of Black Oak Arkansas (1948), Procol Harum’s Dave Ball (1950), rapper Stanley “M.C. Hammer” Burell (1963), Tracy Chapman (1964), Celine Dion (1968), Norah Jones (1979)

March 31: blues pianist “Big Maceo” Merriweather (1905), Texas bluesman Lightnin’ Hopkins (1912), Herb Alpert (1937), R&B performer and songwriter Chuck Willis (1928), Al Nichol of The Turtles (1946), Jon-Jon Poulos of The Buckinghams (1948), Angus Young (1959)

April 1: jazz-blues singer Alberta Hunter (1895), blues bassman, songwriter, and talent scout Willie Dixon (1915), bluesman Amos Milburn (1927), singer-actress Debbie Reynolds (1932), Rudolph Isley (1939), Alan Blakely of The Tremeloes (1942), John Barbata of Jefferson Starship (1945), soul man Arthur Conley (1946), reggae star Jimmy Cliff (1948), Faces bassist Ronnie Lane (1948), Jeff Porcaro of Toto (1954), Stan Ridgeway of Wall of Voodoo (1955), Dennis Boon of The Minutemen (1958)

April 2: blues sax man J.T. Brown (1910), French pop star Serge Gainsbourg (1928), Marvin Gaye (1939), Leon Russell (1941), Kurt Winter of The Guess Who? (1946), Emmylou Harris (1947)

Departures:

March 27: Cuban musician and composer Faustino Oramas (2007), Ian Dury of The Blockheads (2000), Easy E of N.W.A. (1995), jazz saxophonist Clifford Jordan (1993), R&B singer and Chess Records talent scout Paul Gayten (1991)

March 28: jazz percussionist Don Alias (2006), actor-jazz pianist Dudley Moore (2002), Freaky Tah born Raymond Rodgers, of The Lost Boyz (1999), Lakota country and western singer Buddy Red Bow (1993), bluesman and Elvis influence Arthur “Big Boy” Crudup (1974), father of the blues, songwriter W.C. Handy (1958)

March 29: jazz pianist John Lewis (2001), blues and jazz baritone Joe Williams (1999), session drummer Howard Wyeth (1996), Elvis biographer Albert Goldman (1994), schlockmeister Mantovani (1980)

March 30: Doors producer Paul Rothschild (1995)

March 31: alto saxman Jackie McLean (2006), Danish pop star Tommy Seebach (2003), Jeffrey Lee Pierce of The Gun Club (1996), Tejano singing star Selena (1995), O’Kelly Isley of the Isley Brothers (1986), Big Dee Irwin of The Pastels (1986)

April 1: Zombies guitarist Paul Atkinson (2004), rock ‘n’ roll pioneer Jesse Stone (1999), Rozz Williams of goth band Christian Death (1998), soul singer Jimmy Hughes (1997), Marvin Gaye (1984), ragtime pianist Scott Joplin (1917)

April 2: session guitarist Cliff White (1998), organist Joe Madison (1995), Buddy Rich (1987)

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