You could sense the national pride

The Armando Iannucci Shows - Except for viewers in Scotland

building up over the weekend.

Back on the world map, forget Gay Gordon’s arrival at No.10, that’s got nothing on being a target for terrorists.

After the last few years of being left behind by the likes of Madrid, New York and worst of all the dreaded London, Scotland has reclaimed it’s natural place in world events as some muppets think that Glasgow airport of all places in the world is such a target of high importance.

They’ve finally got their own terrorist attack to clamp onto, no more searching through the names of those victims in other cities to find someone whose grandmother once flew over the country, you know the way Big Jack Charlton used to find players for his “Irish” sides of the 80s/90s.

Oh we can send news crew after news crew to talk to people who don’t know anything or are just going to repeat what others have said or tell us what we can all see in those shaky, blurry video shots.

The only downside to the whole event being that they weren’t “home grown”, not real McMuslim McTerrorists just incomers, so some of the gloss has been taken off the glory.

But even so now a nation can rise again, celebrate with a special programmes on TV – except for viewers in Scotland who have their own programmes – such as a new episode of “The White Heather Club” where they dig up Andy Stewart – “Donald Where’s Your Troosers” or “get that fuckin’ ball oot o’ ma garden” depending on how you knew him – to lead the people in a rousing rendition of the national anthem, nah not that flower dirge but…

Come where the hands are clapping,
Come where the toes are tapping,
Come where the jocks are strapping…. Norman Stanley Fletcher

The only question to be asked is did the police arrest the individual on fire because he was trying to blow up the airport or because he was attempting to smoke in a public place?

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