...he's the problem. OK so he's not the only problem with the current England set-up that led to the 5-0 whitewash thumping handed out to them by Australia in this Ashes series. But he's the start of it all.
...in Manchester, what are the chances? England sit here on Tuesday morning still holding the Ashes but they could quite easily be sitting there looking down the wrong end of a 2-1 deficit to the worst Aussie side since crying Kim's.
...heroes. Funny how England cricket team can stop sucking donkey balls and win a one day international when the pressure is off because the 3 match series has been lost.
...gone in tests. England go into today's one day international against South Africa trying to hang onto their top place in the rankings for the 50 over game but the one that really matters is gone.
...disguise? England yet again stuff India, this time by an innings and plenty, to take over from the visitors as the number one ranked team in the world.
...right up until they got stuffed. With a full house at Lord's for the final day of the opening Test of the series against India it got a bit screechy until the Indians were put out of their misery.
...my chips why don't you. Thought England would struggle to manage anything but a thrashing at the hands of one day specialist Sri Lanka. Not so.
...way. England batting, bowling and fielding like bums shouldn't take away from a great victory by Ireland in the World Cup or the great innings by Kevin O'Brien.
...of both victory and defeat. Even with a magnificent 158 from Andrew Strauss that surpassed Tendulkar's ton, thanks to more ineptness from Anderson England managed a last ball tie with India.
...history. England chasing down 293 to beat the Netherlands in their World Cup opener. Yes let me repeat that the Netherlands, which they did with a whole 8 balls to spare.
...I almost forgot. It's been a bit remiss of me, what's it been a week now after the Aussies were yet again crushed in their own backyard by an innings, for the third time.
...series? So far bar the third test in Australia matching the fourth in 2009 when England were hammered it's pretty much panning out the same with England unable to lead from the front.
...you lost the Ashes...again! It feels a lot different from 2005 doesn't it, which is better, it's hard to say. Two mediocre teams playing some poor cricket but do England have a future with this side?
...crowd nutters and a bit of shenanigans. That's what got England out of Cardiff without being one nil down in the Ashes, poor performance all round even with Collingwood, Monty and Anderson on the last day.
...a game of numbers. But I do wish England would stop playing by the numbers, it's just far too predictable but they teased me into bothering about this whole knockabout stuff.