...were trying to pull a fast one. England's opening match of the Champions Trophy was also the first of 26 meetings with the old enemy over the next few months. And if they weren't currently rubbish I'd suspect the Aussies were playing games.
...heroes. Funny how England cricket team can stop sucking donkey balls and win a one day international when the pressure is off because the 3 match series has been lost.
...is slightly over the top. Would it really have mattered a bit what he scored if England's bowlers couldn't take 20 wickets?
...as it started. With a Kevin Pietersen orchestrated mess. Though in classic Andrew Strauss style as he quit cricket completely he played down the chance to stick the knife in.
...or is it a disorder? What are we left with after these last two weeks of the best Olympics ever but memories and the realisation that all there is now doesn't match up.
...undercooked. Just imagine what an embarrassment for the number one ranked team in the world it could have been if the visiting South Africans were on top form.
...he don't get no respect! Thirteen games, thirteen England victories, most wickets in both innings and the match, third top scorer what more does Tim Bresnan have to do?
...to blow it. But they couldn't just manage it because as with 11 previous Test matches when they have Tim Bresnan in the side they just win even if he doesn't do that much.
...for ya. What's that now four straight Test Match defeats after gaining the number one ranking in the world. Only England.
...on that? England in subcontinent conditions against a side that had lost one of their previous 15 one day internationals and had just stuffed them three zip in the test series.
...a one day game at that? England beat Pakistan for the first time on this tour. What's going off out there?
...with style. England really put on the style to be whitewashed by Pakistan in the recent three match test series in the UAE.
...yeah I know...they'll probably take the positives from it as well. Is there anyone out there think the England cricket team will learn anything from this humiliating capitulation to Pakistan in Dubai?
...and thankfully the British public got it right. A Mark Cavendish was crowned BBC Sports Personalty of the year with nearly 50% of the vote.
...doesn't matter. Females or no females I've said it before and I'll say it again. There's only one winner. Cav. The Manx Missile. Mark Cavendish.