...in Manchester, what are the chances? England sit here on Tuesday morning still holding the Ashes but they could quite easily be sitting there looking down the wrong end of a 2-1 deficit to the worst Aussie side since crying Kim's.
...seen? The only way to improve this Aussie touring side is to get all the old blokes in the crowd and media boxes to don the baggy green cap and get back out on the pitch.
...Ian Bell scoring a match winning ton. Never mind losing, that was somewhat expected, never mind the batting collapse, letting the arch bottler top score when it really mattered is something not many teams have ever done.
...there? Wasn't this meant to be the summer of Australian humiliation? The cricket team in the Ashes, the rugby team against the Lions all while various others were beaten in various other arenas.
...lost yet another cricket final. Even though this one didn't end up as a 50 over game, rain reducing it to a T20 bash, they still couldn't help themselves from choking.
...were trying to pull a fast one. England's opening match of the Champions Trophy was also the first of 26 meetings with the old enemy over the next few months. And if they weren't currently rubbish I'd suspect the Aussies were playing games.
...heroes. Funny how England cricket team can stop sucking donkey balls and win a one day international when the pressure is off because the 3 match series has been lost.
...is slightly over the top. Would it really have mattered a bit what he scored if England's bowlers couldn't take 20 wickets?
...as it started. With a Kevin Pietersen orchestrated mess. Though in classic Andrew Strauss style as he quit cricket completely he played down the chance to stick the knife in.
...or is it a disorder? What are we left with after these last two weeks of the best Olympics ever but memories and the realisation that all there is now doesn't match up.
...undercooked. Just imagine what an embarrassment for the number one ranked team in the world it could have been if the visiting South Africans were on top form.
...he don't get no respect! Thirteen games, thirteen England victories, most wickets in both innings and the match, third top scorer what more does Tim Bresnan have to do?
...to blow it. But they couldn't just manage it because as with 11 previous Test matches when they have Tim Bresnan in the side they just win even if he doesn't do that much.
...for ya. What's that now four straight Test Match defeats after gaining the number one ranking in the world. Only England.
...on that? England in subcontinent conditions against a side that had lost one of their previous 15 one day internationals and had just stuffed them three zip in the test series.