You ever… seen a grown man naked ?
Joey, did ya ever hang around a gymnasium?
Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Joey… have you ever been in a, a Turkish prison?

I bet it’s not what Peter Graves, who died on Sunday, wanted to be remembered for as Capt. Clarence Oveur and his chat with young Joey in the cockpit but Airplane! is a classic that’ll stand the test of time. The original was ripe for the piss take.

Of course there was also all those missions that weren’t quite impossible…

Click here to view the embedded video.

…did the secretary ever have to disavow any knowledge of Jim and his team’s existence?

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FREE – Stairway to Heaven Guitar Lesson

If you’re gonna hire Machete to kill the bad guy, you better make sure the bad guy isn’t you…

Click here to view the embedded video.

Just watched Robert Rodriguez’s $7,000 classic “El Mariachi” again the other night, don’t know how many times I’ve seen it, along with “Desperado“, “From Dusk Till Dawn” and “Once Upon A Time In Mexico“.

Watching those last three of course has nothing to do with Salma being in then at all, her dancing on tables with snakes is irrelevant to my enjoyment.

Rodriguez’s fake trailer for “Machete” (above) is a cracking piece of Mexploitation. Will the real thing match up, well with Danny Trejo, Cheech Marin and Robert DeNiro, it has a chance. Though with Steven Seagal and that stupid bint Rose McGowan it’ll have to lift it’s game and of course Jessica Alba and Lindsay Lohan ain’t no Salma.

Rated X: Listening to the Danny Baker show at the weekend he asked what was the first X rated film people saw in the cinema. Mine was Mad Max 2, I was 10 years old – no it wasn’t in the year of it’s release – it was a very hot and humid summer on the equator, our air con packed in and the cinema was the coolest place to spend a night. So me and my dad went to see what had looked like a decent flick in the previous weeks trailers. I was tall for my age, I was tall for any age of the locals…

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Learn to play CLASSIC guitar leads

Due to the fact that BBC Jockland have an incredibly annoying inability to adjust the programme guide and the little signal that goes out to indicate when a show starts and stops for digital recorders, when they changed the schedule from network norm, I had to record The Persuasionists, or I wouldn’t have recorded the end of QIXL.

The EPG and signal always start early so the end of programmes is missing from the recording. It great for dramas where you have every chance of the climax being replace by a blank screen. BBC Two Jockland are the worst at it, and it means that the programme following the one you want to record and watch has to be recorded as well, brilliant for late night schedules when the following prog is four to five hours of News 24 taking up your hard drive space for two to three minutes of the previous show.

Anyway that’s all beside the point other than to explain – excuse – why I actually recorded and then watched The Persuasionists. Well it explains why I recorded it not why I watched it. Curiosity bored the cat to death, yes the classic that’s 30 minutes of my life I won’t get back.

Thirty minutes in which the BBC provided competition for some of the classic ITV comedy output of the 1970s for the title of “the worst sitcom ever produced in this country”. This was right down there with “On The Buses” on the list. Actually it could quite easily be the worst thing shown on British telly, ever. Of course it was made even worse by the inane guffawing and screeching laughter of the audience at every unfunny attempt at a humourous remark.

This should result in questions being asked in the House, not only was one episode of this tripe produced but a whole series of six episodes was commissioned by someone who is no doubt quite handsomely paid from the public coffers for their expert opinion.

How did this happen? It can only be the same process that keeps that odiously smug, public school educated class warrior, voice of PC World, git Marcus Twatstocke permanently employed by the Beeb.

It certainly has nothing to do with either of them being the remotest bit funny.

I didn’t watch this weeks episode, I doubt it was much better, could it have been worse, is that even possible? Probably knowing TV these days…

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Learn to play CLASSIC guitar leads

I watched all three of the recent series of the BBC version of Wallander, I don’t know why the first series should have given me a clue.

What we have is basically a 90 minute film in which there’s 30 minutes of plot – first 15 minutes setting up the story and the last 15 a mad dash to solve it all as everything falls into place – leaving the remaining middle hour for us to marvel over “Ken luvvie” doing his acting.

An hour of filler so we can see “Kenny darling” not just playing Wallander but being Kurt Wallander. The angst, the anger, the fear, the depression. It’s all there for us to witness by Kenneth “if this doesn’t get me a BAFTA” Branagh, shot through various obscure windows, bushes and tree branches.

Interspersed by those staples of TV crime dramas that need that extra bit of padding – the annoying family members of the main character who you really couldn’t give a shit about. In this case senile dad and moody bint daughter. I haven’t read the books so they are probably part of the original stories but as the TV films are adapted and don’t follow the books exactly couldn’t these boring character be adapted out.

But then that would give Ken so many scenes to do his acting.

Much prefer the Swedish version. Though it has it’s fair share of faults, the fact it has subtitles isn’t one of them but it does mean it isn’t going to get a prime time spot for your average soap / realty crap viewer. Though they could do something about the subtitles, mainly when there’s snow lying about or they’re in a white walled building try giving the words a dark background so they are actually readable.

No the main fault with Swedish version is along the lines of the Brit one, annoying family members. The daughter as a police woman, always around getting in the way with her moody fizzog, that character was extremely annoying as was her sidekick the dim Stefan, without them two the first series would have been far better. I assume things have changed for the second series following Johanna Sällström’s death, as the character doesn’t seem to be mentioned in cast list.

But through all of the episodes one question sticks in my mind. Outside doors that open outwards, it’s the one thing I’ve read and heard everyone notices about the programmes. Now it snows in Sweden, snow falls that have got to be worse than those that left this country at a stand still – though maybe their meteorological office doesn’t continually lie to them to keep up the propaganda – how do you get out of the house with a four foot pile of snow outside the door?

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Learn to play CLASSIC guitar leads

There’s plenty to have a go at them for and just because something is easy doesn’t means it’s not worth doing.

Yes it’s was easy to criticise them for over paying that twat Woss for producing his smug shows, it was also right. Never mind the so called Sachs gate, his Friday night chat show was enough evidence. Big Hollywood stars made a bee line for say the Beeb, well no they didn’t a lot stayed away those that didn’t were reported to receive a nice fee to plug their latest piece of fluff. It’s funny the same types that whinge about footballer’s wages, for running around a pitch couple of times a week, which comes from their club are quite happy at someone receiving even more per week out of the tax payer’s pocket to sit at a desk and smarm his way through an hour or so.

Yes it’s easy to criticise the fact that you couldn’t switch on one of their channels over Chrimbo without that gurning twat Tennant staring back at you. With his great acting skills, ranging from A to just a little past A, no where near B. Yes the prefect actor if you want someone to play a character who has a red hot poker shoved permanently up their fundament.

It’s easy to criticise all those other luvvies on the pay role, Graham Norton, played an annoying loud cunt on Father Ted, that others wanted away from as soon as possible, yet the Beeb play him millions play said cunt. Class warrior, Marcus Brigstocke the most odious silver spoon public school luvvie. We have to realise we can’t fly on holiday because of the planet not because he was born into privilege and that means not having to have to sit next to likes of us on his trips abroad.

It’s easy to criticise the channel giving themselves over to U2 and providing at the tax payer’s expense publicity that they couldn’t imagine getting free. U2, such a BBC type band.

It’s easy to criticise the high salaries of the vastly over staffed company, stuffed to the gills with middle management. How many do you see wandering around behind the News 24 desk, how many do you see stood at the scene of the most recent news story…

I can just imagine the rush to be the first into Haiti after the earthquake. Just what the poor people of that island need a bunch of reporters sticking a microphone in their face. How many were sent to Copenhagen at the end of last year, or to the States for last years election. Of course it’s not just the reporters but the whole lot required to go as well, camera man, sound, lighting etc. And of those how many were actually required.

And that brings us to another thing that’s easy to criticise them for. The politically neutral, unbiased teller of just the facts are one of the most biased organisation around. And it’s not just political bias but all types from being totally one sided over so called climate change to religion to the constant fawning over Obama – this one does confuse them though because it goes against their standard anti-US position. All those reporters in Copenhagen, not much mention of Climategate now was there, Islam good, all those hippie faiths good, Jews and those Christian types bad. The irony of Stephen Fry crying about antisemitism in other groups is lost on many. Along with their publicly funded salaries we should also be told of their political allegiances, though of course there would be much surprise at the boxes ticked on that form.

We are told reports of the aforementioned gurning twat thoughts on the political leaders, in the run up to an election. Does the BBC think that having the star of a highly popular – if crap – show might have an effect on the outcome of said election. How unbiased of them.

Yes all those things are easy to crticise them about and that’s because they are the things they should be castigated over.

What the Policy Exchange shouldn’t criticise them for is the buying of “The Wire”, “Mad Men” and the football rights.

Because without them there would have been almost bugger all worth watching on all the BBC channels last year. They have to import US TV shows, they can’t pump the money into their own productions because they are now useless at producing their own drama. Everything is cliche ridden, politically correct, by the numbers stereotypes. They wouldn’t have the balls to produce “The Wire”, too scared, 20 to 30 years back the could have but back then they were interested in producing good programmes not in just ticking the right boxes on the PC form.

Lynda La Plante would have had more of a case about the BBC if she herself didn’t produce some of the worst telly progs going. Ever since the first Prime Suspect, which was good, it’s been the same thing over and over again with just the names of the badly written characters changed. Plucky woman fights the system and the ‘orrible blokes on the force to find the man that’s sadistically raped and killed a bunch of women.

The Beeb hasn’t much going for it for all the money it gets, it picks up less than a quarter of the available viewers for peak times, has four TV channels, two of which are near 24 hour a day, the other two almost add up to that together. Nigh on 36 hours of telly a day and an increasingly crap output that just won’t get better because the apologists let them get away with it.

Without the football and the likes of the “The Wire” and “Mad Man” it would be even worse and that’s a hell of a thought.

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Learn to play CLASSIC guitar leads

Be told by someone on teh interweb what to do and follow the herd like good little sheep.

So some poor little dweeb who “won” some “talent show” on telly was denied his one shot at “glory” because some people are actually the remotest bit interested in what is top of the charts at Chrimbo.

Fight the power, indeed.

Ah no this was a fight against the industry and more importantly Simon Cowell. Now yes I agree that this man should have his carbon emission privileges withdrawn but this was just pathetic. Oh we’ll fight for the completely irrelevant number one spot. So if there’s competition then the Cowell supporters would have to raise their game. Now I don’t know as I haven’t seen any total figures but it would suggest that more people would have to buy the Z-Factor single than normal to get that “coveted” spot. Which of course would put more money into Cowell’s already over stuffed pockets. Nice going.

Ah it’s for charidee, ain’t it. You could have give to the charity, cut out the industry business man taking his cut. Hmmm so you only give to charity if you get something back. Yes, well.

But what would an interweb campaign be to the sheep without celeb endorsements. As we know with the likes of… what comes after Z Factor the British public don’t bother unless someone who is classed as a “celebrity” tells them.

And where do celebs push the buttons that make the sheep obey the orders, why Twitter of course. And there was plenty of them at it but did they really think of the consequences as it could result in their removal from the Luvvie Club.

Yes amongst all the twitterings of buying real honest music, they forgot RATM weren’t that honest about certain things. I seem to remember hearing that the IRA sympathies weren’t there on the albums released in the UK now were they, discretion the better part of valour, what’s the point of having the courage of your convictions if it might mean that you could sell less units. Potential punters less likely to fork out for pictures of people who would like to kill them. After all this is a business, not just for the likes of Cowell.

But IRA sympathies, that could cause problems for the Luvvie Club members, their Lord High Poobah might have something to say about aligning with such a group. Yes Mr Stephen Fry, the Great Leader, Overseer of all Luvviesdom, the last word on what the people of Britain can and cannot do and say. After all when the face of the BBC, writes to the Grauniad then appears on Channel 4 to complain about the Tories joining up with a bunch of loonies in Europe that he claims are anti-Semitic – now yes I realise the full irony of that statement – what can he make of his chums backing IRA supporters.

Yes those Jewish friendly folks from Ireland, the ones that gave a hand to Nazi Germany during the war, helped put on full military honours Nazi funerals and even after the atrocities of a number of Nazi death camps became full knowledge sent a letter of condolence on hearing of the passing of Adolf. They also loved the gays as well, I believe. Stephen should love them.

To think if it was in the years gone by, when you actually had to go out into a shop and buy a physical item for a song to chart then all the sheep would have been crowded into a nice big mass at the right time of year to be a “legitimate target” for a certain group’s Chrimbo bombing campaign.

Maybe they could be marked out for special treatment, I know, a uniform, nothing says individuality and rebelling against the man like a uniform. How about a Che t-shirt.

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Learn to play CLASSIC guitar leads

…brave Hungarian peasant girl, she forced King John to sign the pledge at Runnymede and close the boozers at half past ten. Is all this to be forgotten?

Click here to view the embedded video.

And I was so looking forward to recreating that classic speech by Tony Hancock from the BBC’s “Hancock’s Half Hour” version of “12 Angry Men”.

The radio show may be over 50 years but it’s one of the few things I actually bother to record on the BBC, over all their output of what 7 TV channels knocking on a dozen radio channels, one half hour show made years before I was born. That and “Shaun The Sheep” of course.

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Learn to play CLASSIC guitar leads

World class players don’t look confused, Darren Bent, Andy Cole, Jermaine Jenas, they all look confused, you’d never associate any of them with greatness now would you?

Looking shocked and confused is the default position for Ryan Giggs, that’s why he isn’t a great player and is the most overrated player, maybe even ever. All the talk of his greatness is then followed by talk of how long he’s played even though longevity in itself doesn’t equal greatness and then they’ll bring up the F.A. Cup semi-final goal against the Woolwich Scum, which of course was now over ten years ago and is the thing he’ll be remembered for. One moment currently around half way through his career.

What came before and after that one moment? Well yes there was trophies won, but he didn’t exactly win them single handedly now did he, after all, all that fawning after scoring his 100th Premier League (Premiership) goal the other week shows that he doesn’t contribute much goal wise. 100 in 18 seasons, not that great now is it five and a half a year. Most in a league season 13, add the other two seasons before the league restructure and it’s down to 5.25 average.

Now he’s a winger they’ll all whinge, well yes so was Best and he topped the goal scoring charts for his club and the league on a few occasions. Back in the good old days when he plied his trade, kicking a heavy ball on a ploughed field while himself being kicked by an opposition heavy called Chopper or Norman. Topped goal scoring charts when the likes of Jimmy Greaves were about and Denis Law was in his own side. In the six seasons Ronaldo was at Trafford he averaged 14 league goals, including 31 in one campaign a couple years back. Where Giggs has passed double figures twice.

How many more than 100 goals would he have scored if you didn’t have all those memories of him stood there in the box looking bemused as the goal stands gaping open in front of him while the ball flies over the bar, or dribbles past the post.

A but Giggs is there to supply others, yes that is one of the jobs of a winger, a major one and another one where the reality points away from greatness because the confused Giggs shows up as the attempted cross hits the first defender six times out of ten, 3 times it flies past everyone in the box and once it actually finds it’s target. And when that happens he really does looked confused as he did last night.

Ah but even at his age Fergie is playing him in the big games. Er no. Last few years Fergie would rather play Park on the wing than Giggs. The last few seasons have sen him put out for away games to the East End Pikeys and such like. Remove Giggs from the squad for the last few years and would it have an adverse effect on their success, doubtful. Now remove Ronaldo, would it be a different story, this season would do more than just suggest so.

Ah you’re only saying all this because you hate ManUre. Well I would have written all this no matter who he played for the. Thing being if he hadn’t been at ManUre the last 20 years I wouldn’t have had to. He wouldn’t have won the award, he wouldn’t be fawned over by the media. Much like Bill Nicholson wasn’t knighted for being the first British manager to win a European trophy, the first to win two European trophies, Jock Stein wasn’t knighted for being the first British manager to win the European Cup. Bill Paisley wasn’t knighted for winning three, Cloughie wasn’t for winning two. Where as Buzby and Fergie had those three little letters prefixed onto their name for one win each.

England didn’t have a left sided player in the 90s, the media latched onto Giggs, made him a hero they wished would have set his allegiance with the three lions (even if he couldn’t), instead of not turning up for Wales. He is a media created great not a real great if the game.

Of the 10 up for the Sports Personality of the Year award Giggs would have been fighting out for last place with Murray for me. And I don’t know anyone who saw Bradley Wiggins fighting up Mont Ventoux with no help and wouldn’t have him in the top 10 alongside Cav. Those two alongside the young diver Daley and the gymnast Tweddle did things Brits don’t usually do, so would have been amongst my choice for winner. The rest followed in others footsteps or finally pulled their lottery funded fingers out and actually achieved what they’ve been promising to do for ages so wouldn’t get my vote.

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Learn to play CLASSIC guitar leads

Nothing really matters but moi…

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Learn to play CLASSIC guitar leads

In days gone past after the death of such a well known face in the acting world as Edward Woodward would be followed up with some tributes. Schedules would be cleared and some of their most famous works would be aired.

Not now, oh god no they couldn’t possibly risk the wrath of those sad individuals whose life falls to pieces if the same show isn’t on at the same time every day. Your piece of crap soap / unreality / Z list celeb worship show etc will be on tomorrow, missing one day isn’t going to make a hell of a lot of difference for a prerecorded programme.

So chances are we won’t get to see a run of “Callan“…

Click here to view the embedded video.

…I mean when was the last time it was shown? Probably the only time I saw it back on Channel 4 in the 80s. Yes it may look a bit dated but the acting, script and style will be far better than the crap put out by the main British channels these days – “Spooks” my arse.

The film could be shown, or “Breaker Morant”, chances are the best he’ll get will be another showing of “The Wicker Man”, which has had a bit of airing recently…

Click here to view the embedded video.

…O, Lord! O, Jesus Christ!

Yes I like the flick, and not just for Britt’s front and the doubles backside.

Why not another showing of “Common as Muck” by the Beeb? Again better than most the rubbish on today and something that hasn’t exactly been aired to death by them. And as ITV like to fill their fourth channel with oldies like “The Saint”, “The Sweeney” etc why not a series of “The Equalizer”, yeah it was overblown Yank crap but passed a fun hour.

But knowing what the execs think our screens should be filled with and their target audience they’ll just repeat that sad old soap which was unfortunately Woodward’s last job on telly.

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Learn to play CLASSIC guitar leads

1900, Len Spencer, believed to be the first nationally known recording star, releases his biggest hit “Arkansaw Traveler” … his other hits include “Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom De Ay,” “A Hot Time In The Old Town,” and “Hello! Ma Baby” …

1928, a candle starts a fire in a French Gypsy caravan … the left hand of 18-year-old guitarist Django Reinhardt is badly burned, leaving two fingers useless … with his right leg also injured, Django is bedridden for 18 months and uses that time for therapy, rebuilding his guitar chops so that by the mid-1930s he is a master of swing guitar and ultimately one of the best guitarists in any genre …

Click here to view the embedded video.

1964, “Oh Pretty Woman” by Roy Orbison turns gold … it is his ninth and last Top Ten single …

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1970, Jim Morrison gets six months in the slammer for exposing his privates in Miami … Michelle Phillips of the Mamas and the Papas marries actor Dennis Hopper … proving wrong those who said the marriage wouldn’t last a week, they divorce eight days later … Bob Dylan records “George Jackson,” a tribute to the black militant leader killed in a California prison shootout …

1971, while The Allman Brothers are on a break from touring and recording, guitarist Duane Allman loses control of his Harley-Davidson and is killed … Allman was trying to avoid a construction vehicle that abruptly stopped midway through a turn …

The Allman Brothers Band – “Whipping Post”

Click here to view the embedded video.

1972, James Taylor and Carly Simon tie the knot in her Manhattan apartment … they will separate ten years later …

1975, Queen releases “Bohemian Rhapsody” as a single … with three and-a-half minutes being the standard time limit for a single, the band and producer Roy Thomas Baker have to convince EMI executives to release the six-minute recording without any edits … the single tops the U.K. chart for nine weeks and goes to #2 in the U.S … it will go to #1 again in the U.K. in 1991 after lead singer Freddie Mercury’s AIDS-related death …

Click here to view the embedded video.

1977, during a London concert Elton John announces that he is retiring from live performance … as with most rock ‘n’ roll retirements this one is short-lived … The Bitch is back by February of 1979 … Martin Scorsese’s film The Last Waltz, commemorating The Band’s last concert at Winterland in San Francisco, opens to rave reviews in New York … Ozzy Osbourne quits Black Sabbath but returns a few weeks later …

1983, Pink Floyd’s Dark Side Of The Moon becomes the longest-running album ever on the Billboard chart at 491 continuous weeks …

1986, The Beastie Boys release their debut License To Ill … it will become the first rap album to reach #1 …

1988, Nirvana lead singer Kurt Cobain smashes his guitar onstage for the first time at the Evergreen State Dorm Room Party in Olympia, Washington …

1991, a crowd of more than 300,000 attend a free show in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park called “A Benefit for Laughter, Love & Music” to commemorate the death of rock promoter Bill Graham … the bill includes The Grateful Dead; Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young; Joan Baez; Santana; and Journey who reunite for the memorial show … Graham died on October 25 when his helicopter hit a utility tower … blues, soul, rock, and country are all well represented when the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inducts Bobby “Blue” Bland, Booker T & The MGs, Jimi Hendrix, Johnny Cash, The Isley Brothers, The Yardbirds, and Sam and Dave …

1992, Elton John and his lyricist Bernie Taupin sign a $39 million publishing deal with Warner Chappell Music …

1995, Hootie and the Blowfish and Bob Dylan reach an out-of-court settlement over the band’s unauthorized use of Dylan’s lyrics in their song, “Only Want To Be With You” …

1996, Michael Jackson announces that he and friend Debbie Rowe are expecting a child … the King of Pop denies tabloid reports that the baby had been conceived using artificial insemination and that Rowe was paid to bear the child … the pair will marry two weeks later …

1998, Kiss launches its Psycho Circus tour on Halloween in Los Angeles … thousands attend in costume and The Smashing Pumpkins are the opener … Ol’ Dirty Bastard of Wu Tang Clan is arrested for threatening to kill his former girlfriend … he is apprehended while climbing over a security gate at the woman’s place of employment …

1999, Pete Townshend, Roger Daltrey, and John Entwistle, the surviving members of The Who, reunite for the first time in two years for a concert in Las Vegas at the MGM Grand … KISS, Tony Bennett, and the Dixie Chicks also are on the bill … the webcast concert marks the launch of Internet video company Pixelon …

2002, hip-hop giant Jam Master Jay of Run-DMC is shot dead in his Jamaica, Queens recording studio … police pursue many leads and theories as to motive: unpaid drug bills, rival rappers, armed robbery, insurance scams, a rivalry with Murder, Inc. over 50 Cent, and more … the crime remains unsolved …

2004, Eric Clapton is made a commander of the Order of the British Empire in a Buckingham palace ceremony … Commander Clapton also announces that he and his wife Melia McEnery are expecting a child in January …

2006, a mere five months after settling to the tune of $12 million with New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer over payola charges, Universal Music Group is back in hot water on charges that two of its labels engaged in pay-to-play practices that boosted the chart positions of CDs by JoJo and Nickelback … L.A.-area boy scout troops have begun offering a patch to scouts who learn about copyright laws and pledge not to pirate movies and music … scout’s honor …

… and that was last week that was.

Arrivals:

October 29: composer Vivian Ellis (1904), jazz arranger-composer Neal Hefti (1922), The Big Bopper J.P. Richardson (1930), Mickey Gallagher of Frampton’s Camel (1940), Denny Laine of the Moody Blues and Wings (1944), Peter Green, founder of Fleetwood Mac (1946), Roger O’Donnell of The Cure (1955), Kevin DuBrow of Quiet Riot (1955), Randy Jackson of the Jackson 5 (1961), Einar Orn Benediktsson of The Sugarcubes (1962), Peter Timmins of the Cowboy Junkies (1965), Douglas “SA” Vincent Martinez of 311 (1970), Toby Smith of Jamiroquai (1970)

October 30: trumpeter Clifford Brown (1930), rockabilly star Ray Smith (1934), Grace Slick born Grace Wing (1939), Timothy Schmidt of The Eagles (1947), Jim Messina (1947), David Green of Air Supply (1949), Otis Williams of the Temptations (1949), Joey BellaDonna of Anthrax (1960), Gavin Rossdale of Bush (1967)

October 31: Dale Evans (1912), Bernard Edwards of Chic (1952), South African rocker Johnny Clegg (1953), U2 drummer Larry Mullen Jr. (1961), Adam Horovitz a.k.a. King Ad Rock of the Beastie Boys (1966), Vanilla Ice born Robert Van Winkle (1967), Linn Berggren of Ace Of Base (1970)

November 1: blues songstress Sippie Wallace (1898), Peacock Records founder Don Robey (1903), Barry “Ballad of Green Berets” Sadler (1940), Rick Grech, bass player for Blind Faith and Traffic (1946), Dan Peek of America (1950), Ronald Bell of Kool and the Gang (1951), Lyle Lovett (1956), Anthony Kiedis of Red Hot Chili Peppers (1962), Def Leppard drummer Rick Allen (1963), Willie D of The Geto Boys (1966), LaTavia Roberson of Destiny’s Child (1981)

November 2: trumpet legend Bunny Berigan (1908), Keith Emerson (1944), J.D. Souther (1945), Dave Pegg of Jethro Tull (1947), Maxine Nightingale (1952), Carter Beauford of the Dave Matthews Band (1957), Bobby Dall of Poison (1958), Matt Sorum of Cult, Guns N’ Roses, and Velvet Revolver (1960), k.d. lang born Katherine Dawn Lang (1961), Alex James of Blur (1968), Reginald Arvizu of Korn (1969), John Hampson of Nine Days (1971), Nelly (1978)

November 3: Brian Poole of The Tremeloes (1941), Marie McDonald Lawrie a.k.a. Lulu (1948), Adam Ant born Stuart Leslie Goddard (1954)

November 4: Four Vagabonds singer John Jordan (1913), Delbert McClinton (1940), Dan Hartman (1951), Squeeze singer-guitarist Chris Difford (1954), pianist Yanni born Yiannis Hrysomallis (1954), James Honeyman-Scott, guitarist for the Pretenders (1957), Puff Daddy (1970)

Departures:

October 29: saxophonist Henry Berthold “Spike” Robinson (2001), jazz bandleader Woody Herman (1987), King Harvest drummer Wells Kelly (1984), guitar master Duane Allman (1971)

October 30: crooner Robert Goulet (2007), Ramones co-manager Linda Stein (2007), Jam Master Jay of Run-DMC (2002), TV host and musician Steve Allen (2000), British blues diva Jo-Ann Kelly (1990), hard swingin’ sax man Chu Berry (1941)

October 31: John Holohan, drummer for Bayside (2005), record exec Lester Sill (1994), A Chorus Line producer Joseph Papp (1991), Procol Harum drummer B.J. Wilson (1990), guitarist Malcolm Hale of Spanky and Our Gang (1968)

November 1: Mothers of Invention drummer Jimmy Carl Black (2008), hip-hop record exec Shakir Sweet (2008), Peruvian soprano Yma Sumac (2008), Grand Funk Railroad manager Terry Knight (2004), classic blues singer and pianist Sippie Wallace (1986), pioneer Delta blues singer Tommy Johnson (1956)

November 2: Sammy Kaye Band singer Wandra Merrell (1994), Mississippi John Hurt (1966)

November 3: singer Art Wood (2006), Lonnie Donegan (2002), blues harmonica player William Clarke (1996), songwriter Mort Shuman (1991)

November 4: Shonen Knife drummer Mana “China” Nishiura (2005), Bobby Nunn of the Coasters (1987), Hi-Lites singer Ronnie Goodson (1980)

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Learn to play CLASSIC guitar leads

Forget the Curse of Donnie, Curse of the Republicans, this is the big one and when Mariano got Victorino to ground the ball to Cano and the Yankees players almost made it onto the pitch from the dugout before the ball found it’s way to Teixeira’s mitt at first, it was the end of a long wait.

It was a curse that started some time ago, in the dim and distant past before mortals could get their hands on teh interweb, back when we only knew of The Babe and Joltin’ Joe. Back when the BBC ruled sport in Britain and Dickie Davies – he never did finish painting that ceiling – sat there on a Saturday afternoon in an ITV studio knowing most of the viewing public were watching Grandstand as he introduced World Of Sport’s latest bizarre offering between the racing and the wrestling.

I’m pretty sure we witnessed Bucky Dent hitting a homer of some significance, back when I remember a wiry, mustachioed man in pinstripes with a 1 on his back going mental at an ump, kicking dirt at him, after a batter was called out when either the official or the batter or both were looking up at the passing BA 747 flying overhead in an advert for said airline.

Something caught my attention, then my family from New York came over for a visit, I saw that famous logo in other places and that was it. But there wasn’t much baseball round here, my first trip to a playing nation meant my first bat and first ball. That first ball also helped my allegiance as it contained the book pictured on the right, Catfish was wearing the right uniform and that ubiquitous logo was right there on his cap.

Downtown in the city we lived in there was an amazing sweet shop, but I’ve never been the one for gorging on candy I was more interested in little packets of cards and the first packet I got contained one card that just sealed it. How could Goosge Gossage not have me hooked into a life as a Yankee fan?

A trip to the baseball nation followed, I could now get my own Yankees cap, jacket, jersey, the mitt didn’t quite work out right but the Nolan Ryan job was the right price. Just couldn’t see a game as it was the wrong time of year. Still it was going to be a good time to be a Yankee fan Donnie had arrived. But no the Toxic Curse had kicked in the very moment I clamped my allegiance to the most successful and famous team in the sport. A glory hunter they said in the late 90s, ah yes the 1980s was just non stop glory. It’s hard to remember throughout it which was the most glorious moment, was it watching Bobby Meacham commit his last two errors as a Yankee player? Or was it watching Rickey, Donnie, Winfield, Randolph amass a whole hit between the four of them. Hell I didn’t even get to see that wiry little guy from the ad all those years earlier, he’d been sacked a few weeks earlier for the fifth and final time and Sweet Lou didn’t throw a fit. Or was it all those playoffs they didn’t reach?

There certainly wasn’t much glory when British TV decided, on the back of the NFL success, to give the game a go. Now what would be the worst year of that decade for baseball to be shown on telly with respect to a Yankees fan. Oh yes it would be ‘86 now wouldn’t it, the Curse was working overtime that year. Your execution, would you prefer the GAS chamber or the electric chair? Red Sox or Mets, thank you very much Channel 4.

Back to the States, I know lets head over to Uncle Tech’s to see England in the World Cup, thank you very much Graham Taylor. Oh well I’ll get to see the Yankees, thanks to the updates from my uncle I knew they were doing well. Top of the AL East, best record in the AL, second best in the majors. Bernie was burning, Paulie was hitting, Donnie had hopes. So what happens? The strike, baseball ends the middle of August, the Curse strikes with a vengeance.

At this point the Curse decides to play a cruel trick 1996 comes round, Pettitte, Jeter, Tino it was all here, it ended with #23. But better news was to come Channel 5 started broadcasting and decided to fill the wee small hours with various off the wall shows, including live MLB, just at the right time the beginning of a dynasty. Then the Curse pointed something out, you can’t get 5 round here, the signal isn’t strong enough. 1998, ‘99 and 2000 passed with only teh interweb reports to follow. A couple more World Series appearances followed, but no wins, 2003 was the first thing I blogged about, testing various blogging packages. Damn fish.

Then finally a digibox, C5 is available, A-Rod is at the hot corner, all is well with the world. They’re on the TV every Sunday and Wednesday it seemed. Happy, happy, joy, joy. 101 games won, A-Rod spanks the Twins, the Sux are getting a lesson and then the Curse plays it’s cruelest trick yet. Game 4, it’s a Sunday, it’s the only game in town, live on 5. Live up to a point, that point being 6 o’clock, when they just cut off because some kiddies show has to be put out. You stay up all that time and it’s a mad rush to the PC to find out what happened, though I wish I hadn’t.

Game 7, Wednesday, so again on C5, didn’t really need to stay to the end the moment Ortiz hit the bleachers in the 1st, it just had that feeling written all over it. One curse had ended because The Curse was more powerful.

The following four years saw things go from bad to worse, the Sux winning another to the Yanks not making the playoffs last season. And then rumours started that changes in broadcasting rules meant C5 could get away with not using the live baseball to fulfill certain broadcasting requirements, it was to be binned by the channel.

Season ‘09 started again with hope, a new stadium a new hope, hope that big spending brings. It also started with revelations, injuries and results that dented hope. I decided to test the Curse, I wouldn’t blog as much about the games, just the odd thing here and there, Swisher pitching, milestones for Mo and Jeter, the anniversary of the Iron Horse’s last game and retirement. All I had was interweb reports, highlight videos and blogs for what was going off out there. Funnily it seemed to have a positive effect on my fantasy team, one brief moment I was top of that C5 league, then August hit and I turned from Matsui to Cano in this World Series.

So 103 wins was reached, playoff bound, it had to happen I couldn’t watch it. Twins dispatched with ease, then the dreaded Angels, how many times had they destroyed the Yanks when I could view games? But no they’d bottled up ever mistake and error they could have made in those past games just for this series. I only viewed a bit of the games online, I was testing the Curse, it was working the Yanks were in the Series.

But I could test it no more, I couldn’t resist. I tuned into game 1, Cliff Lee worked the Curse to the full. Phills were up, I left early the Yanks lost. Even with this I couldn’t stop myself I had to watch games 2,3 and 4 each time the Yanks were ahead when I stopped viewing and each time they won, was the Curse working a pattern here? It did it again in game 5, Yanks losing, I’m off Yanks lose.

But game 6, I was going to stick this one out, it was going to end the Curse and at about 4:50 am, fittingly with Mariano on the mound, the Curse died a death. #27.

Apologies for this rambling mess of a post but, like CC, Pettitte and Aj, I’m on short rest so while there may be touches of CC and Andy in there it’s more likely to be an AJ game 5 ramble.

© Toxic Web

Learn to play CLASSIC guitar leads

Why would anyone want to fork out £4.99 never mind the day of the game price of £11.99 to watch a meaningless World Cup qualifier between England and Ukraine on teh interweb.

Now I’ve tuned into ITV’s web broadcast of previous England games when I’ve had no other way of viewing the game but I certainly wouldn’t have paid for it. The games have been on after 6 o’clock on a Wednesday or on a Saturday, in other words prime time for ISP to throttle back all the bandwidth, none of that promised 8MB/s download speed. So what starts as a bit of a blurry picture has that little buffering icon pop up every so often – the adverts never crap out though do they, same with Freeview, high winds crap out the signal but only during the actual programme you’re watching never those ever increasing ad breaks.

Even if the picture was of the highest quality I still wouldn’t fork out any cash to listen to those buffoons ITV employ to annoy the viewer, I know it’s a surprise isn’t it, why wouldn’t I want to hand over cash to listen to Clive Tyldesley try and mention a certain ManUre game in Barcelona, or Pleat mispronounce names of English players never mind the foreign ones. Surely a penny under a fiver is well worth it to have the insight of Steve “I don’t really like football, I’m a rugby, golf, F1, man myself” Ryder try and convince us it’s his sport while eliciting some pearls of wisdom from those giants of the modern game Andy Townshend and Wobbie Earle.

Well it ain’t ITV that are doing it this time, after being priced out of the game by the rights holders appointed by the Ukrainian officials after Setanta went tits up, but the thought of sitting through a Svennis monologue and watching Gerrard et al, ponce their way through another undeserved cap in a game that means nothing now England have qualified for South Africa and paying for the privilege is just not going to happen.

But if folks do and do so in large enough numbers, though the number has been capped at one million subscribers, then it’ll give others bright ideas. Rio Ferdinand thinks it’s a great idea because that’s where he was told the money is, I wonder who told him, and we all know that lesser spotted duck billed Ferdinand – only two known to exist in the wild – is only interested in the money, well his next bit of bling has to come from someones pocket, someone other than him of course, innit.

So if you are one of those who is going to subscribe then don’t start whinging when in future more and more games are done this way…

Is that what you want?…Cos that’s what’ll ‘appen.

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Les bloody Dennis

© Toxic Web

Learn to play CLASSIC guitar leads

Adolf isn’t a happy bunny…

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© Toxic Web

Learn to play CLASSIC guitar leads

Let’s get down to brass tacks here, how much for the ape? - Raoul Duke

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I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me. - Hunter S. Thompson

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When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S. Thompson

© Toxic Web

Learn to play CLASSIC guitar leads