Mrs Slocombe’s pussy…

...I never did see it. I used to pass her old house when going to the park but I never did see her pussy. Twitter and a bunch of Yanks seem to object to #MrsSlocombesPussy trending. ...read the full post →

I fund his surgery to turn him white…

Adolf Hitler finds out about Michael Jackson's death and how it will effect his birthday celebrations. ...read the full post →

The Michael Jackson dead factor…

...didn't take long to kick in. Thankfully no crashed site here, as with many others, probably because those that get to Toxic Web are illiterate and can't spell Micheal Jackson dead body movie clips. ...read the full post →

Next year’s World Cup is going to be…

...unwatchable by this evidence. After tuning in to a bit of the Confederations Cup in South Africa it looks like next years World Cup could be a difficult to watch. ...read the full post →

I have to admit I didn’t watch…

...the Cup final on Saturday. Thankfully Guus Hiddink is a man of his word and has headed back off to Russia though he should really be flying out to lead England in their World Cup qualifiers. ...read the full post →

It’s your one way ticket to midnight…

...call it Heavy Metal...Baby won't you ride... Ride it until it explodes... Heavy Metal. Remember kids cheesing is bad mmkay. ...read the full post →

Do they still repeat this episode of…

...Mork And Mindy. Exidor reveals that after trying all religions including Judaism, Punch And Judaism he now worships O.J. Simpson. ...read the full post →

Infamy! Infamy!…

...They've all got it in for me! Carry On producer Peter Rogers has died, yeah some were utter crap but there was classics in the Carry On films. ...read the full post →

Some people like to stick their dick…

...in a blender. Some people like to have a wank at Eastenders... But I...Oh I... I like to fuck off and burn... Bad News... ...read the full post →

The Disney guide to…

...animation. Draw it once then trace over it again and again...nice one Walt. ...read the full post →

I backed a horse at…

...thirty to one. It trailed in what looked far more than a country mile behind the 100/1 shot that won the Grand National, still it saved the jockey some embarrassment. ...read the full post →

Jacqui Smith’s husband…

...you know the one who has taken the fall for watching Oceans Thirteen not once but twice and claiming expenses for it, I can't make my mind up who he looks like and who was actually watching those porno flicks? ...read the full post →

And you may ask yourself…well

...how did I get here? The Muppet Show's Kermit the frog sings Talking Heads' Once In A Lifetime. ...read the full post →

Bill Hicks is owed an apology…

...by both me and Google. My post yesterday day about the 15th anniversary of the comedians death was polluted by everything he railed against. ...read the full post →

It’s always funny until someone gets hurt…

...and then it's just hilarious. I don't mean to sound cold, cruel of vicious...but I am so that's the way it comes out. It's 15 years since Bill Hicks died. ...read the full post →