Dear Sam Allardyce, fat, drunk and stupid

Animal House: Dean Wormer to Flounder - Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son.

is no way to go through life son.

How fitting that Sam Allardyce’s tenure as England manager ended through his own greed, stupidity and ego that quickly surfaced even before his first game in charge.

And it’s no surprise that now he’s been rightly given the push he’s claiming victim status…

Entrapment has won on this occasion and I have to accept that. Sam Allardyce

Yup Sam, you were entrapped by that aforementioned greed, stupidity and ego and maybe that pint of wine. And as the title quoted John Vernon as Dean Wormer in Animal House addressing Flounder…

Yup, I have to admit, I was somewhat happy when this all came out, even happier seeing the picture of Fat Sam slumped in the car, not looking quite so pleased with himself. The post resignation statement on his doorstep where you could hear tears coming in his voice, well as Oscar Wilde would have said “you’d need a heart of stone not to laugh”.

Thankfully predictable, the Daily telegraph knew who go after, Big Sam would be up for a bit. They’ve saved us from seeing his smug, overly large face, chomping on another pack of gum. One game was more than enough, especially as the football wasn’t any better.

Sam’s mates in the media kept telling us he wasn’t really like the caricature we all imagined. He a student of the science of football and isn’t the wide boy wheeler dealer, ‘onest guv.

Yet we know his football is lump it up to the big guy and the first chance he could get, with the ink on his contract still wet, before a ball had even been kicked he’s taking a nice little earner. Willing to risk a three million quid job for an easy £400,000.

He just basically fulfiled most peoples expectations of him. Too full of himself.

So what now for Fat Sam?

Well with all this free time on his hands he could get around to suing the BBC over that Panorama programme like he threatened to do when it came out, some decade ago. Funny that never got going legally, did it, actually did anyone sure? Maybe he could get Ravel Morrison as a character witness.

Some talk of a move abroad, yup there’s plenty of teams out there looking for a 1980s style English manager to teach them to hump the ball up to the big lumper up front. Especially one with a very basic grasp of English and can’t “talk foreign”.

He’s got a million quid to keep him busy. Should buy a few pints of wine and packets of gum.

What now for England?

Another screw up from the FA in prospect. Southgate taking the next few games, after admitting he was out of his depths just a few short weeks ago. Well if he just sat at a press conference and said I don’t know what I’m doing here the FA would probably bung a few million his way with a four year deal.

The line up beyond that is as inspiring as it was when Allardyce was announced as the outstanding candidate.

Will the FA learn from history, or will the likes of Pardew and Bruce get a turn? No hopers, big on ego, small on achievement. Tim Sherwood is probably sitting by his phone as week speak, not hoping but expecting. If the FA really want the English game to be a laughing stock, as Alan Shearer claims it is, they could hire Alan Shearer as the boss.

Maybe they’ll have to deal with the allegations of the 8 Premier League Managers, past and present, that have taken bungs before picking someone.

One thing though, all the stuff Fat Sam said about Woy being a dullard, well that was all true wasn’t it.

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