If the next England manager has to be English

Shteeve Mclaren

then how can this man be in the frame?

He’s not English, he’s Dutch, can’t you tell…of course this was a bit back and I haven’t heard him for a while he could be German by now.

Yes the Football Association, the gift that keeps on giving are according to Trevor “yes this is a fence I’m sitting on” Brooking seriously contemplating turning the clock back to the glory days of 2006/07 and handing the England job back to Steve “how do you shay McClown” McClaren. The wally could be back prowling the Wembley touchline with his brolly.

Now with the way Leicester get rid of their managers I’m sure Svennis will be free shortly, why not go the whole hog and have them both back, together again like Fred and Ginger. Of course Svennis not being English negates that, unless he can pull off the accent, then I’m sure he’d fool them. Now who is good at accents and could teach him?

If it’s purely based on nationality I’m pretty sure Graham Taylor would be happy to put down the microphone to try and regain the mantle of England’s worst ever holder of the job. But does he have the credentials in the F.A.s eyes? Telling the nation that there’s “no doubt about it” on TV and radio pretty much matches up in achievement with winning the Dutch league, doesn’t it?

Even with that Eredivisie title last year and even in the unlikely event he’d won a Bundesliga title with Wolfsburg by the time Fabio finally exits, there would be no justification to handing him back the top job. Christ I’d be happier if they fell to their knees and pleaded for Fabio to stay if that was the only alternative.

And that of course is the rub if the person in question has to be English – a viable alternative.

Who is there? Sam Allardyce, would he want to leave his new job at Real Madrid? Well it would solve the problem of playing Gerrard and Lampard in the middle as they’d just spend the game watching the ball fly over their heads, I’m sure even that pair could manage that. On second thoughts I may be over estimating their abilities.

Steve Bruce? Would anyone really want to listen to him wining after every game, or indeed Lee Cattermole as England captain, well between suspensions. Roy Hodgson, poor Woy, I do like Roy, wanted him in the job years back, you have to wonder though what state he’s going to be in when this sojourn in Scouseland ends. Not that I’m blaming him for the ills at that club, it’s not easy to polish the turd Benitez left behind.

Martin O’Neill? Well do they count him as English? The F.A. didn’t like his approach last time and it makes you think that snub would stop him even bothering next time round. Proud man is Martin, not one to piss off, doesn’t strike you as a forgive and forget type.

‘Arry? Out of all the candidates he’s the only one that shouts out “pick me”. Which is alarming news for Spurs fans, yes we may grumble about his choices in this and that game, but we are currently where we are because of him. Which is better off than any of the teams managed by those above. But would he have to leave the club to take the England job? International break means there’s very few players at Spurs, most are away on duty with their countries. He’s watching the players week in week out, not like many off them are outside the Premier League is it.

I wonder what Guus Hiddink will be doing in 2 years time, pretty sure it won’t be picking Kevin Davies and Darren Bent up front for England.

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