Toxic Web v4.0

…please.

This is also probably a plea from good old Midge Ure, Geldof’s Baldrick now that he’s been replacesd as Bob’s #1 sidekick by the far more famous face of U2. No matter how much Bob has crapped on Midge over the years he’s stayed there like a loyal little lap dog, except of course lap dogs are center stage not pushed further and further out of the picture.

Artists were picked for Live8 because of their pull but Bob couldn’t help himself from getting up there and making his hit sound even worse than it originally did, though I suppose he’ll require some debt relief if the rest of the Rats win their royalties case. But no sign of Midge up there going through his hit with the rest of the ‘Vox, obviously not the pull, suppose the only chance of that happening would be so that Bob could cut them off halfway through Vienna so Joe Dolce can lead the crowd through a rendition of “Shuddup Ya Face”.

Bonophobia is particularly forgivable, given the singer’s hugely irritating mesianic self-importance. – Neil Tweedie

Anyway a bunch of dullards played a bunch of dull tracks (Coldplay, Travis & Dido – the kings and queen of dull, Joss Stone – does anyone believe this shitck, Keane – if your gonna play the keyboard like you’re Jerry Lee Lewis at least have the music to do it to.) to an audience that really didn’t look or sound that interested, then why would they with that infront of them.

And they all told us how we have to end poverty, yup a bunch of millionaire, multi-millionaires and billionaires told us all about the poor of the world. Well I suppose when you’ve got expensive court cases to get your old hat back, have to keep up a breeding farm to produce the high turnover of furry animals you use as hair replacement, you have to cover the cost of crap films your in and your husband directed you need all those millions. Ah but you say Bob told us this was about making a statement and not money, that’ll be why when you next go into a Virgin or HMV store there won’t be large displays with the artists that appeared in prime positions, none of which remember the effect of Live Aid and how it made U2, rescued Status Quo and restored Queen to former glories.

And now a bunch of “celebrities” have spoken and all will be right with the world, well a sweat shop owner in China isn’t going to be in poverty for some time – why were those bands an extra £1 at Hyde Park if it wasn’t about money?

And the various dictators & despots in Africa will start thinking – “now we dn’t have to pay off this debt we might as well spend it on our people, I mean how many gold plated Mercs and palaces for our mistresses do we need and while we’re at it well help our next door neighbours” – poverty will be eradicated much like it seems it has between the Rio Grande and Tierra del Fuego.